どうして君を好きになってしまったんだろう？
by sowoneulmalhaebwa
Summary: SPOILERS What happened if JunPyo had died in the accident? What happened if when saving JiHoo, he caused his own death? What happens to JanDi, and the the F4? The ultimate test of survival between friends, and the power of love takes its curtain call.
1. Denial

どうして君を好きになってしまったんだろう？

**Characters:** Gu JunPyo, Yoon Ji Hoo, Geum Jan Di, WooBin, Yi Jung.

**Genre:** Romance, friendship, love, tragedy, m

**Length:** Chaptered

**Rating:** MA+

**Warning:** Language, Sexual content.

**Disclaimer:** based on 꽃보다 남자, idea adapted and constructed by me.

**Summary:** In Episode 24, a crazed drunken driver aims to take down the legacy of Shinhwa with him as he takes his own life. But when Gu JunPyo sacrificed himself to save Yoon JiHoo, the collision left JunPyo hospitalized. Days in the hospital progressed into weeks, and weeks into agonizing months. The coma hadn't been lifted, and not a single sign of life was left in the man. The ultimate test of how strong will power can fight temptation, and where loyalties lie. What is stronger than love, and deeper than hate? The F4 will soon discover.

* * *

**Once upon a time, in a ward far, far away …**

The soft beep of the ECG machine echoed through the quiet room painted in the brightest white; the walls almost beaming as the sunlight lit the surface to reflection the uplifting hue through every inch of the room. Beep, pause, Beep, pause. The pattern repeated, breaking the silence with the lullaby to bring an uncomfortable, yet striking poetic sensation to the spotless room. On the bedside table lay a vase with the fresh lotus flowers replacing the shrivelled corpses that placed to the trash can besides the bedside stand. The sleeping male lay beneath covers of the softened material, the pillows padded to comfortably frame his head and the bandage wrapped tightly into place. Beep, pause, Beep. A soft hand stroked the tan cheek of the sleeping beauty.

"That's right … you relax, Gu Junpyo-ah," Geum JanDi softly purred into his ear as she lowered her lips to his cheek. The rosy petals touched the skin gently to caress with loving pecks of affection. The silence returned as the female quietly took her seat at the side of the bed. Her slender fingers wrapped around the male's thumb to gently squeeze. How he looked from this angle … so calm and peaceful. "G-Gu JunPyo, please wake up …" the voice almost pleaded for the dark brown hues to open, the sleeping curse to lift and alleviate the wait day by day. Her hand released to take a lunchbox from her backpack. A calm smile returned to the lips, removing the lid to let the scent flow through the room. The first layer revealed the small egg rolls, the small egg rolls captured by the two chop sticks as she took a bite from the delicious piece. "I made enough for two … so you should wake up, ya" she looked down at his features. Nothing … not a single flicker. The egg roll was forced into her mouth as she ate it slowly.

Geum JanDi placed the eggrolls aside to open the new box with rice formed into a face, the black curly hair, eyes and mouth made her smile softly. "You liked these when I first made you then, come on, eat some." The spoon gathered a small piece to extend to the man. Beep, pause, beep. The spoon pulled back, forcing the rice into her mouth she slowly lowered her hand. Her dark eyes filled with warm salty tears as she put aside her lunch box. Her head rest to his arm as she held onto his arm.

The door opened, and slowly in came a taller male. The man dressed in white pants, a beige coat with a white scarf wrapped around his neck. The soft light hair fell upon his face as eye contact brought an uncomfortable silence. The Korean bow to the female; she sat up slowly, wiping her eyes. "S-S-Sunbae …" She stood now, holding onto JunPyo's hand. In Yoon JiHoo's hands he held flowers, the most beautiful lilies JanDi had laid eyes on.

"Choseonghamnida …" he spoke softly, closing the door once more to approach the bed. "I didn't know you'd be here." The apology was barely audible above the repetitive beep of the ECG machine. "Gwenchanayo?" the male approached further, placing aside the lilies, to gather her other hand in his warm grip. She nod softly in return, fighting the pressure behind her eyelids.

"N-N-Ne … Kamsahamnida Sunbae." Her hand pulled away from the warm affection to reach aside for the next box in her lunchbox. The lid removed and JiHoo glanced inside to see cookies coated with icing to form the face of Junpyo. A cookie was removed and broken in two. JanDi offered a piece to JiHoo. He watched slowly, the cookie bringing back the night it happened ... the events so clear in his mind.

* * *

_As Yoon Ji Hoo walked slowly through the quiet street; his arms hanging at this side; his shattered heart resting in the pit of his stomach. Each step he took felt like a lifetime. He had offered his full heart, his full dedication, to heal her wounds and kiss them with the healing touch to put out the fire in her heart. What had he done so wrong? He sighed softly, staring ahead as the faint sound of an engine left a humming him in a trance. His mind left blank, oblivious to the world; only a push woke him. The force knocked him from his feet to fall to the ground with a thud, but a louder thud kicked him into reality. As he rolled over on the concrete floor, he looked up to watch the events in slow motion. The car crashed into the Korean, as Gu JunPyo hit the window screen to roll across the roof JiHoo had managed to catch the final sight of Junypo hitting the ground with a thud, and a crash of the car into the wall. "Junpyo-ah!!" he screeched, running to the bloody body on the floor as he held him tightly against his thigh. The white pants resting the delicate head as he called the name repeated. "Gu JunPyo …"_

* * *

JiHoo accepted the cookie, taking a small bite from it as he looked from JanDi's watery eyes to JunPyo. What if … it hadn't been JunPyo? What if the car had collided with the intended? What if his life had been taken and true love remained? JiHoo pondered intensely as he nibbled the soft shortcake texture. If he had died … the heart wouldn't be torn in two. It had been a month and no progress has been made, and day by day the pain grew. "Neomu … choseonghamnida, Geum JanDi-ah." JiHoo spoke quietly, eye contact held between the two but a soft smile and shake of her head dismissed the intentions of his painful apology.

"Gwenchana … Sunbae, can you take us home now?"


	2. Resentment

The house hadn't changed; the colour scheme of neutral tones and the warm and friendly aura radiated quicker, and faster than he had ever known it. The lounge was filled with the bags fully packed and labelled appropriately. The clock had barely past ten and already the two males were awake and eating the well prepared food. Something felt wrong … something felt beyond wrong. There were no words to explain how he felt in that moment in time. Everything had frozen in position as Yoon Ji Hoo looked around the quiet home that only held sadness with everyday that passed. The tension in the air as thick as fog as the simple act to breathe was suddenly glazed over with self-doubt.

The first case was labelled as for Yi Jung; the excessive baggage that accustoms his presence was piled around the black case in the form of smaller bags, and backpacks. The news of his leaving had been almost forgotten; it only struck JiHoo when the bags were found in his lounge, piled by the wall with a box atop of the suitcase. A hand touched the package atop to carefully hold it in his hands, the red box wrapped with white ribbon with a small tag. The name read Geum JanDi in handwriting too familiar, too fresh for the female to witness its existence. His hands place it back down to the case as noise erupted from the dining room, and this he listened to: the conversation between WooBin and Yi Jung.

"**Yi Jung … is now the right to leave Seoul? You could stay until next week, surely. It would be nice for you to help us when the storm begins."** The Korean took another spoonful of the warm hotcakes, covered in syrup and berries as he wiped a small piece against the china plate; the clash of cutlery leaving a faint echo.

"_WooBinhyung, how can I stay here for an extra week? The longer we stay, the harder it will be to leave. But you are mislead, hyung. We all are affected by this … I don't want to stay here more than I have to."_ Yi Jung replied, pushing aside the empty plate with a sigh.

"**Yi Jung—"** Woobin began, but a louder voice broke his speech.

"_Aniyo! I am not staying here … you may be able to, but I cannot. WooBin hyung, I am leaving in three days. Unless you have any more to say, this is goodbye."_

"**Arasso … to old friends, and new beginnings."** WooBin raised his glass to the other, and a moment of silence. Yi Jung stared at the glass, the way the light hit the liquid left him suddenly weakened to all forms of speech. Their glasses collided with a gentle chink. **"What about the F4?"**

"_The F4 …"_ He was cut off from the train of thought. JiHoo stood in the doorway, his eyes focused on the two glasses touching. Both males stared at the Korean as he poured a drink into a clear glass to raise it with the others. In harmony they took a moment of silence before JiHoo's voice emitted from his rosy petals.

"To Gu JunPyo …" he began. "… and the F4."

"_**Gu JunPyo, and the F4**_" they agreed, and together they took the last drop of water to combine their destiny as one, to form the famous F4 for one of the last times.


	3. Memories

The silence of the bar that night was the perfect remedy for the female; the large room abandoned with the exception of the male behind the bar. Her eyes watched the cloth glide across the glass, the smooth glide bringing a shine reflected from the lights. A hint of life in the still room as the glass pushed across the bar to rest in the perfect range for the barman to notice. Her chin against the warmth of her forearm as plump pouted lips accompanied the widened hues. "Another?" The glass was accepted, bringing a bring smile onto the features, bringing a sense of happiness to break through the heartache. "Kamsahamnida." The tone lathered in a flirtatious glaze, bringing a bright smile as the glass came back to her grip. "Neomu kamsahamnida." She repeated.

Geum JanDi removed the black fluffy shawl from her shoulders, putting it onto the bar stool besides her and shaking her head gently. The hair fell out of the elegant bun, falling to frame her face aimlessly. Small black shoes were kicked away from her feet, falling to the floor with a light echo throughout the room. The drink was gone within seconds, and the same request made. The glass returned to the bar.

Dark eyes turned to the approaching male; and sitting there was the image of Gu JunPyo. The expression of the face of amusement: the familiar smirk on the soft lips, the raised brow beneath the curl of dark hair; he was such a beautiful sight; such a flawless angel before her. No … it wasn't true, he was right before her. He was here … and he hadn't gone anywhere.

"Gu … JunPyo, you missed the party. Let's celebrate together." The glass raised once more, this time filled with water as she lowered it to her lips. The alcohol likes venom too wild to be tamed, pulsating quicker than she had time to comprehend. JunPyo stood in silence, hands in his pockets with his head held high. JanDi climbed off the stool, stepping towards him.

"Geum JanDi-ah, you shouldn't drink." The mixture of voices transformed to lighten the touch of the deep tone. The smile spread, holding out her arms for the hands to be grasped firmly. His skin felt different, his scent. This wasn't him … her hands released the other's, allowing the other to sit her on the stool and kneel before her. Her foot was taken, and the black shoe in the other. "JunPyo … what are you doing?" she questioned, ruffling the hair. Her fingers wrapped around the warm neck as the warm shoe slid back to her foot.

"Gu JunPyo?" the voice questioned. This voice … was not his. What was happening? The foot tugged back, kicking as the other was taken unwillingly.

"Get off!" the worry overwhelmed her senses as the man stood up to his full height. Gu JunPyo was fading … and quickly. A hand extended to touch his face. "Don't go ..." the plea was barely audible, but the volume decreased until a whimper emitted. Eyes … those eyes she knew too well.

"I'm not going anywhere without you." The voice replied.

Those lips … plump rosy lips. She knew them, she knew them too well. Gu JunPyo faded until the image of Yoon JiHoo replaced the heavenly creature with another of the same kind. Her hand placed onto his cheek, cupping lightly to look into the creamy chocolate hues. He wore black clothing, as if it were some kind of mourning ground – as if it were a funeral. JanDi's eyes watered with warm salty tears, a single droplet trickling against her pale cheek.

"He … he was here … Sunbae … S-Sunbae." The hand cupping his cheek lowered as her head followed the lead. No fireman could put out this fire; no fireman could rescue her from the burning flames of misery. "Wae?!" the female almost screamed, covering her face with both hands as the other shoe was slipped on carefully.

"You've had too much to drink, we had best go home."

"Aniyo …"

"Geum JanDi-ah, aja …" his hand touched the tips of her fingertips, slithering to her palm lightly. JanDi held onto his hand, looking into his eyes closely. Their faces inches apart. JanDi's quivering lips leaning closer to the others. "Gwenchana ... take my hand. It's okay, Sunbae is here…"


	4. Acceptance

_Time doesn't heal a broken heart. It only makes the absence leave a burning hole in your chest_, Geum JanDi though to herself.

JanDi sat like a small child lost in a big world. A thick blanket wrapped around her shoulders tightly to trap the body heat inside to smother her in a momentary utopia. The material lowered against her bare arms slowly. Soft hues watched the plate before her sitting on the end of the bed. The tray filled with fresh rice, the steam had stopped rising and only a cool temperature was left. How could she eat now? It had been weeks, three weeks without happiness, and without a flicker of happiness in her life. But the light had diminished to leave a trail of smoke leading to a shimmer of sudden light. Yoon JiHoo. Weeks without contact, and weeks without leaving the four walls that caged insanity to a restriction.

The food was poked gently; the sudden sweet aura filled the air. Rice perfectly cooked, prepared and offered to break the barrier. Why was it so difficult? It was three weeks ago, it shouldn't leave such a scar for the Korean. The chop sticks poked the rice that felt almost cold to JanDi. How long had it been there? Three days without leaving the confines of the bedroom. The blanket was dropped to the bed as she stood. The gown framed her figure a pale pink that hugged the frame of her figure. The chopsticks gathered rice, and the first bite was taken, the taste of cold, yet sweetly flavoured rice filled her emotions rapidly. A faint smile felt so foreign to the Korean. What was there to smile about? The dark eyes lowered to the bowl, another bite taken as the door was gently knocked upon. JiHoo?

She stared intently at the door, but said nothing. Another knock. The bowl was placed down, taking a step backwards slowly towards the warm covers. The handle was gently twist and the door pushed ajar. "Geum Jan-Di-ahh, are you awake?" a soft voice called out. A momentary panic brought JanDi to tilt her head. _Otokke haji? Otokke haji?_ The panic increased as the door opened and standing in the doorway was Yoon JiHoo holding a cup in his hands. Steam rose from the hot liquid, and eye contact between them brought a silence. "Mianhaeyo, I assumed you were sleeping." The voice barely audible as he approach with extreme caution. JanDi stared blankly in return, blinking at him.

"Mwo? Ah, gwenchana. It is me who should apologize, you made this food for me, let me eat it, ne?" she offered the first smile in weeks, holding onto the bowl to eat another small mouthful of the rice. Cold grains in her mouth, and cold grains left her once more feeling empty.

"Aniyo, you don't have to eat it. Drink this and it'll be okay, I will forgive you." The trademark smile painted upon his lips. Such a sight brightened her face for a split second. The female gave a gentle laugh, accepting the cup of tea in her hands to let the steam fill her aura. "Sunbae~ mianhae, I haven't been very well these few days." She replied. A soft sip was taken from the cup between the rosy lips. The liquid calmed her quickly.

"Ne, I've noticed that, JanDi-ah. You need to eat."

"Aniyo … it's okay, sunbae~"

JiHoo held onto her shoulder, rubbing gently to pull her into a careful hug. "Let me take care of you …" The arms that held onto her wrapped her in a blanket of security, trapping her in a small bubble big enough for two, apart from the rest of the world. The threads interweaved to sew up the seeping wound of her heart, the first beat sending electricity through her veins, to every muscle and awakening her from a dream filled with chains to tie her down. Dark hues watched up at Yoon Ji Hoo, the look in those perfect eyes, the way he smiled down at her, and the way his scent eased her heartbeat to a faint thud. "s-sunbae … I heard Yi Jung came back a few days ago. Could we visit him? Ga Eul said --" JanDi's voice began to rise in volume before JiHoo cut her off.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea, JanDi-ah."


	5. Did You Forget?

One bottle. Two bottle. Three bottles. Four.

Ji Jung's hand grasped the neck of the bottle tightly, wrapping fingers tightly around it to grip it against his chest. The fingers eased grip, allowing the piece of heaven to fall to the ground.

Five bottles. Six bottles. Seven bottles, and more.

Not a single grain of light entered through the windows, nor did a sign of life exist in the darkness. The bottles on the floor gathered, body to body, neck to neck, before rolling across the floor in their glory. Yi Jung lay on his back on the benched seat, looking up at the dark ceiling, staring at the twirling fan blades. In silence he lay, taking in the intoxicated fumes of the air. Peacefully he looked up; an expression of freedom took upon his features. A hand placed to his stomach, while the other arm rest behind his head to gather a good view at the wall before him, and the window with closed curtains, trapping darkness inside. When the door opened, the creak of light entered, and there stood a silhouette. Dark eyes averted their gaze from the curtains, to the tall figure standing by the door. The way the hair shimmered, to the way his soft skin reflected the light. Who was that? Could it be an angel? Yi Jung had to squint his eyes to make out the face, shape and form of the male.

The bottle hit into the foot of another, blocking its stride to follow the force in the opposite direction. A hand lowered to pick up the bottle as it rolled away back into dangerous territory. The sunlight beamed behind him, blinding the sinner – catching him in the act of self-destruction. The strand of light transformed into a sudden flood of light when the switch left a click that echoed in mind. The light lit up the dungeon of life that intoxicated the sensibility.

"Ji Hoo … what the hell, are you doing here?" the voice slurred, pushing himself up to sit uncomfortably. Even a rub to his warm cheeks didn't wake him from the distorted dream he was trapped in. "Coulda knocked, ya? What are you doing here anyway?" the tone was far from friendly, his eyes masked with a bitter glaze.

"It's good to see you too, Yi Jung. Why didn't you call? I could have visited you, earlier." Ji Hoo began to speak, his eyes following Yi Jung as the Korean stood, paced around to take another bottle of alcohol into his grip. "What the hell is wrong with him? You've had enough." JiHoo approached for the male to walk away. The closer he came, the further away the other moved.

"What the fuck are you doing here? You don't belong here anymore."

Ji Hoo looked at the other intently; the knots in his stomach tied tightly together; the knots churning furiously, tearing at the seams of his aching heart. He blinked once, approaching the other cautiously, like he were a wild beast set free. "Mworago? Yi Jung, what has gotten into you. What about Geum Jan Di?"

Yi Jung laughed.

"I don't care about Geum Jan Di, I don't care about you, I don't care about anything anymore. Just go."

"Talk to me." JiHoo began to plead. Yi Jung took the lid off the bottle, and put the bottle to his lips Ji Hoo gripped the bottle tightly, tugging it away with force to put it down on the counter. In the close proximity, JiHoo could smell the bottles intoxication in his breath. "Why are you doing this …?"

Silence.

"Why? You want to know why?" Their faces inches apart.

JiHoo's narrowed at the male, taking a step towards him. Was this the same Yi Jung, he had known for years? The bottle had indoctrinated the sanity, tying threads tightly to form a new bond; a new DNA formed within Yi Jung, a new man lived in the body so familiar. With every word that was spoken, the dark eyes widened to take in each rush of intoxicated air struck him. The aching tension progressed

"You ..." he paused. "her …" he paused again. "What about her is so special?"

The bottle was finally released.

Carelessly, the bottle dropped to the tiled floor, the stench of the liquor filled the room stronger than before. Each pant of breath reaching JiHoo's nostrils with a displeased wrinkling of his nose. Two hands gripped his cheeks, holding firmly to stare into the deep hues with an glance of psychosis.

"He's dead … he's dead. How could you … he's fucking dead!" Yi Jung's hands released the hands to push the JiHoo's shoulders roughly. The liquor spread across the tiles, catching the sole of JiHoo's foot in a moment of self-control building. Hysterics, echoing sobbing and almost screaming filled his fragile mind. "It's been six months. Six months; why did you do this? Why do you love her?"

JiHoo remained silent. An empathetic stare examined the other as a hand reached for a cloth. The slow movements calmed the raging anger locked within Yi Jung's mind. Each thin thread wavered, entwining between each other to form a tight lock in a new sense of reality. The cloth absorbed the alcohol, a shimmer remaining on the delicate tiles. Not a single word was spoken between the two was the bottle was placed to the counter and back to his full height JiHoo stood.

"What do you want?" Yi Jung spoke calmly.

"I wanted to see how you were doing."

"Fine. Just fine. Did you want anything else or is that all?"

Silence.

JiHoo shrugged his shoulders gently; the world could be crumbling around them and Yi Jung wouldn't notice the rumble around him. The crumbled, broken and torn apart heart changed his whole outlook on everything he had once knew. JiHoo turned from the male to approach the main door, turning off the lights once more to return what had once been before he walked into the small world wrapped in bubble wrap, popping bubbles to create chaos. A hand held onto the handle, opening the door to let light inside_._

"Its been six months, did you forget so easily?" Yi Jung's quiet voice brought all movement to stop.

"I never forget, Yi Jung, but with time, we heal. Put down the bottle, JunPyo wouldn't have wanted this."

"He wouldn't have wanted you to have her, either."

JiHoo's eyes closed to take a deep breath into his lungs, filling him with a new serenity. _If I have to lose her to anybody, I want to lose her to you. _The voice echoed calmly, filling the heart with warmth, wrapping tightly in protection. Was it … a hint of a smile?

"There is not a moment that I stopped loving her." he admitted finally, looking back at the other male, desperately clutching another bottle to his chest in a desperate act of conciliation. "That is bad for you."

"The F4 is dead. I'm not your problem anymore. Just leave. Just go. Get out of here." The final eye contact returned the aching pain in his stomach. The memories like venom pumping through his veins.

It was falling apart, everything he had ever known, everything he had relied upon …

"_WooBinhyung, how can I stay here for an extra week? The longer we stay, the harder it will be to leave. But you are mislead, hyung. We all are affected by this … I don't want to stay here more than I have to."_


	6. One Step At A Time

That night he couldn't force the smile away from his lips.

That night he couldn't contain the admiring glances at the female at the table, by his side, and sharing his home. Time had passed; time had healed the open wounds to leave their deeply embedded scars. Geum JanDi's familiar scent filled his mind, feeding the desire in an instant. Day by day, he had stuck each piece back together, filling the cracks with love until the re-creation stood on its own two feet. Finally life had continued, the earth could spin and his heart was fulfilled. The first beat came with a moment of surprise.

The way her lips curved into an unfamiliar smile. It was the way her eyes lit up with that unexplainable shimmer that stole his attention, clinging onto every movement that returned life to his embodiment of existence. It was only when the rich chocolate brown jewel made a moment of contact.

"Mwoya?" the feminine voice spoke delicately between mouthfuls of rice, tapping each small grain into her mouth to feed the hunger strike; months had rolled on into a block of despair. Finally, she could take her first steps into a new life, a new world, and a new start.

_Why is he looking at me like that?_ She questioned to herself, looking down to wipe her mouth. _Aniyo … what was he staring at?_ The confusion eased with a smile displaying on his face. The sunlight in the darkness; that familiar skip of her heart, it had really be that long? Life was like a new adventure to her, and it filled her mind with a calm exhale.

"Aniyo. I'm just thinking." He cut himself short as he took a taste of rice, chop sticks gathering the grains firmly. JanDi's bright smile didn't fade from her face, nor did her eyes avert from him when he looked down. The curiosity tugged forced her lips to part.

"How is … Yi Jung? Ga Eul mentioned he was quiet. Is he well?" the female moved from the chair to move behind JiHoo.

Delicate hands placed to his shoulders, rubbing gently with a peck to the soft hair. JiHoo lowered his hands to release the chopsticks and place his own over Geum JanDi's. A tender grip held onto her fingers, leaning back his head to rest against her chest. Had it really been six months since JanDi's hands had held his? Had it really been that long since a smile could be displayed on her face?

"Yi Jung … is having some troubles at the moment. Please don't visit him." He gave a gentle peck to her fingers, stroking them in an act of tenderness before releasing. A small between them expanded, and with every step away she took, the ripping sensation returned, tearing and ripping the stitches of his wounded heart.

JiHoo's warm arms captured her in a tight, loving embrace; a firm grip kept their bodies within close range. A peck placed to her forehead, brushing the hair away from her forehead with a delicate nose wrinkle. "You've perked up. What's happened? Whoever has brightened your day, I shall thank them eternally." The topic was carefully averted, coming back to something more beautiful than words could explain. The sight of her smile brightened his aura, shining down the brightest rays against him. The expression painted upon JanDi's smooth features didn't change; the eyes remained widened, glazed over with the inevitable tinge of guilt.

"Ani … don't frown. Gwenchana."

A tilt of her chin brought eye contact to return. Her small hand held onto the chain to bring the necklace into view. The moon be sides the star, the two in their couple shimming together. JiHoo glanced down to the necklace as it swung gently. His fingertips touched the pendent with a calm glance upon every shimmering jewel, upon the beauty of the objects connected by the one thing he couldn't obtain …

"Sunbae …" she began to speak, but a hand to her cheek cut off her next words. He looked directly into her eyes, giving full and undivided attention, letting the necklace fall back to her chest. "I think … I'm ready to move on. He would want me to be happy, ne? To take his memory in a positive way, to be happy … any way possible." As she explained, the words came back to his mind. _If I have to lo_s_e her … I want you to have her._ The words were repeating, echoing and the rewinding. "I think I'm ready to try again." The final nod brought the statement to an end, and the determination to fight for it came back stronger than he had known it. He looked down, removing a chain from his neck and removing a hand from her cheek. Dangling on the chain was a ring, the very ring rejected only six months beforehand.

"You always have sunbae, where is the fire this time?" he asked quietly, putting the ring and chain into the palm of his hand as an offering.

She hesitated.

Should she?

JanDi watched the necklace closely. How could she throw away her love for Gu JunPyo when her stomach still churned at the mention of his name, but her relief when Yoon Ji Hoo appeared released her tension? She could never reject Junpyo, her first love, true love … but was this so wrong?

The chain was accepted, and the placed around her neck she wore his ring besides the pendent; acceptance. She had accepted his ring, and in turn allowed a deeper rush of adrenaline to fill his body like venom. "Sunbae, Kamsahamnida." She bow to him deeply, but the sight of her drove the butterflies in his stomach insane. Months upon months, he had waited, and day after day.

_There is not a day that I stopped loving her._

His hand placed to her neck, staring into her eyes before averting his gaze to her lips. JanDi's eyes fluttered shut, indulging in the warm touch to her neck, leaning into the pleasant touches – accepting the affection that wrapped her repaired, yet dented heart in bubble wrapping. JiHoo's eyes closed as the tips of the their noses lightly grazed against each other when she held onto his shoulders.

It was the warmth of his light breathing that awoke the army of flutters. She felt … alive. Her lips parted against his, capturing the upper lip comfortably between the rosy petals. Her head angled lightly, leaning closer to the male to feel the world stop spinning. As their lips touched, his forming against her lower lip, the world disappeared, time stood still; the final piece of puzzle had fallen into place; the tenderness locked between the passionate locking of lips lit the roaring flames in JanDi's stomach. That feeling … that spark: she hadn't felt that since the last moment her heart had been completed.

This is what it felt like to be alive? Their lips part slowly, bringing eye contact between to linger. A delicate blush came to her cheeks when reality returned, when the sudden movement of the Earth set the unbelievable as reality. Set the truth, in stone. "I promised him I would take care of you, no matter what the cost. Let me take care of you … let me love you, the way he would want you to be loved." The voice cooed gently, stroking a hand through the black hair.

JanDi's small hand gripped onto the necklace, onto his ring, and onto his commitment. Could her heart love another, was there room for love after death? She smiled gently into his eyes, brushing her nose against his with an adoring glance into the rich hues of what must be an angel, her own guardian angel – her own fireman.


	7. Sarangui Final Round

[A long, but overdue scene, please forgive my hiatus on the fan fiction but I hope this compensates for it ^ ^]

_I pushed the window open to feel the breeze against my face. How lovely it felt to wake up besides somebody, to have a face waiting for you. He was still asleep however, so I have to be quiet, really quiet. JiHoo sunbae looks so handsome when he sleeps, so peaceful and so childlike. It almost struck me like lightning as I watched him taking gentle breaths, his chest rising as his lungs filled – and exhaling, it would fall once more; it struck me then, that the aching whole in my heart had been filled with the Fireman, reducing the fire of heartbreak to a sizzle. My heart still ached at the thought of Gu JunPyo, but this Fireman saved me from the flames, and rescued me. Can my heart love completely once more? Can my feelings for JiHoo grow? Sunbae is after all, incredible. His ring … the ring he gave me. I accepted it, therefore accepting his love. JiHoo sunbae, I'm ready to love you, to let you love me. But how can I forget him? My first love taught me how to love, how to laugh, how to cry, and how to hurt. Can I love the both of you? Or would that be wrong? Yoon Ji Hoo, Fireman to my roaring fires, eoteohke haji?_

A chain of silver hung around her milky neck, dangling band of solid, shimmering silver as its momentum rose. Soft fingertips glazed upon the band as it spun in loops, like an endless cycle matching the painful trial and error of life. The cold ring held firmly in her warm palm, heat radiating the width as her fingertips stroked the thin chain. As Jan Di watched the ring glisten when the light reflected, a natural smile returned to her lips. A smile bright enough to beam through the state of unconscious, like an aura of brilliance to part JiHoo's closed eye lids.

"Geum Jan DI, you're awake." The quiet voice softly purred, glancing at the female expression with a pleasant sigh. The brown hues almost sparkled, watching the ring on the end of the chain, swinging in a slow momentum. "You're still looking at the ring? You seem to have to take quite an attraction to my ring the past few weeks. Why so fascinated?" Sitting up slowly, JiHoo reached for the glass of water positioned on the bedside table, besides the digital alarm clock. "I over slept, I apologize, JanDi-ah." Jihoo stretched his arms up, his fingers curling into a fist as his eyes closed. The sudden grip of warmth around his waist brought his eyes to open, glancing down to the dark bed on hair against his cheek. "Whats wrong?" Panic struck him in that instant, patting his hand against the short locks. Curling the tresses around his fingertip slowly, pressing his lips to the top of her head.

"I'm okay, Sunbae. Please do not worry. I just wanted to hug you."

"Jinjjayo?" An expression of surprise struck his chocolate hues, processing the thought. JiHoo's fingertips brushes the bangs from her eyes, looking down at into her soft features. Was she finally comfortable? The smile on her lips, the sparkle in her eyes: gliding his hand through the soft hair, fixation his glance upon her lips, the soft touch and shape, the rosy tint. His eyes fluttered shut as their lips met; a tender kiss left him almost breathless, almost leaving his skin with a fresh rosy tint upon his cheeks. "JanDi-ah," he almost whispered as the kiss parted their lips inches apart. Jihoo's breath emit as a soft sigh: he could hardly speak, he could hardly breathe as her hand placed to his shoulders. His heart beat faster against his rib cage, so hard with every thud he could hear the beats echoing in the back of his mind. Doubt after doubt struck his mind, drowning his sensibility with desire.

"Sunbae …" Jandi's quiet voice spoke, fiddling with the collar of his shirt slowly. The material slipping between her fingertips as she rest her lips against his in an unexpected display of affection. Ji Hoo's hand placed to the back of her hand, slipping through the locks teasingly. The contact of their lips grew closer as did their bodies: this burning desire he felt only increased. Was this wrong? Was this wrong to want her in so many more ways than he should? Judging by the tender embrace of their lips, and her hand against his shoulder – her passion matched his. Had it finally hatched from the egg, nurtured to health, to a beautiful piece of life? JiHoo could only trust the thump, thump, thump of his heart as it beat faster and faster with every second. His hand guide her slowly down to the bed as he towered above her, breaking the kiss for a moment of eye contact. "Gomawoyo …" he smiled softly down at the quiet voice, brushing hair from her face. "Kiss me?"


	8. Heartbeat

Without a word, he held me in his arms. Without a word, he placed his lips to mine in a gentle kiss. Could it really be love? Could this terrible flutter in my stomach be love? My hands placed to his broad shoulders. I couldn't move, I was immobilized by the handsome male pressed up against my body. His warm lips locked with mine, those soft lips I've forever longed to touch again. Had my love for JunPyo died? My eyes closed tightly. How could I even begin to think of such a thing in a moment like this? My mind was everywhere but anywhere, but my heart fixed firmly in my chest was beating like a thousand drums. It was beating so fast and hard that I feared my ribs could break. I felt like a woman, like a real woman.

I took slow and shallow breaths as his lips began to part from mine. His kiss left my lips tingling; his kiss left my body shaking lightly. His strong arms wrapped around my waist to hold me closer, my chest pressed against his, feeling the shape and form of his torso smothering me in warmth. His scent welcomed my nerves to ease, inviting me to take a deep breath as those soft petals pressed against my neck delicately. He treats me like I was a China Doll, like I was the most precious person in the world. As I blocked my mind from further intrusion I focused on his movements. As I sat almost frozen with cluelessness, his hands against her waist brought my chest to his once more. Each kiss sent a new shiver of anticipation through my spine.

This feeling I had never felt before, this smile I fought with all my will broke out into full bloom. A quiet sigh left my lips as his eyes met mine in a moment of contact. Those eyes that first stole my heart, those eyes that displayed an emotion I had never felt before. These hands holding me that always caught me when I feel; that heart I hadn't taken care of, that heart I hadn't accepted.

"Saranghae." JiHoo softly whispered to me, and it was that moment the flutter of butterflies frantically fluttered, causing my milky cheeks to turn a pale pink. I hesitated. He loved me? His heart still yearned for me, though I turned down my Fireman time after time?

"Nado saranghae." I quietly replied.

As I closed my eyes again I felt his strong arms wrapped around my waist firmly. I felt pure bliss as by body was brought to rest back to the warmth of his bed. The morning sunshine beamed through the windows, and it was then I looked back at his face. My hands cupped his cheeks and I simply admired; those deep chocolate brown eyes, those rosy lips, so soft and delicate – the face of an angel. This time the only fire he needed to put out was the fire of my heart bursting into flames, flames of passion; flames that burned for him and him alone.


	9. Amor

[this chapter include sexually explicit content, if you do not like this, then please skip this chapter to the next one. Thank you.]

JanDi closed her eyes as she rest her hands to JiHoo's broad shoulders, holding onto him tightly as the buzz of excitement and nerves ran through her delicate body. Her mind was blank as she took a moment to savour her final moments before she took the final step to womanhood. Gazing into JiHoo chocolate brown eyes gazed down into JanDi's with a smile spread smoothly. His masculine hand brushed strands of her bangs from her eyes, taking a moment to admire the beauty beneath him. It wasn't the body contact that melt his heart, it wasn't the sheets masking their bare bodies – it was the look in her eyes, the way she nervously smiled, the way her eyes glistened with fear, anticipation. "Gwenchana?" he asked peacefully. "we don't have to if you don't—" he began to speak gently like a lullaby.

Silencing his words with a gentle peck to his soft lips. "Sunbae, gwenchana," JanDi answered softly as her palms slid down his biceps, gripping to them firmly as she took another deep breath, sighing out the doubt and worry until her head was cleared. "I'm ready." She replied in a whispered tone. In that very moment the world disappeared and the only thing that mattered was the handsome man above her, protecting her – returning life to the heart that beat so naturally, that beat in another beat and rhythm. Time stood still until the moment their lips collide, and his masculine body pressed down to hers, his chest against her breasts with a rush of warmth through their bodies. As they lay together the thump of their hearts threatening to punch through their ribs; soft breathing filled the air as the sound of ambient sound brought the two closer as every inch of their bodies touch in perfect time.

It was the sweetest pain she had ever felt, the discomfort and pain that last for what felt like minutes as she lay helplessly. Taking light breaths with her eyes tightly closed, the brush of fingertips against her cheek calmed her gradually. _Hana __…__ dul .. set, _she began to count until the pain subsided and peace returned to her mind. The discomfort she felt minimal, but her heart was beating on overdrive, and the million butterflies were released when the soft smile met her lips. "Apayo?" JiHoo enquired nervously, touching her neck lightly as if afraid to cause more pain for the female.

"Jokeum," she admitted with hesitation in her whisper. "it's okay though," she granted permission for the actions to continues, the act of breaking into womanhood, her body breaking out into a sudden rush of goosebumps that brought her lips to part. Jandi buried her face into his warm neck; the warmth of his skin raising the heat between the beating hearts. Her eyes closed softly as the rush of energy through her pulsate like electricity, varying from the tinge of pain to the unexpected release of a strangely calming – and enjoyable wave.

Legs entwined. Arms wraps firmly around each other. Gripping tightly to his shoulders to decrease the sudden squeeze she felt, reducing, releasing, and repeating.

A thin layer of sweat built between the two gradually, pants and groans filling the air from the body towering above her. Even in this light, he looked angelic, his sticky hair to his forehead, his smile gentle as ever, and his heart the warmest she had ever felt. As the moonlight pierced through the glass, his face lit up, shining like a star in the sky from the beads of sweat. Like an angel his body shimmered, his warmth energized her tired frame with the sudden blast of intimacy. Almost as if it were a dream, her eyes fluttered shut, her hands in desperate search of his masculine grip. Her faint pant quietened as another wave of discomfort struck her, adjusting her legs with his, her chest arched to pull away from the sudden pain. The pace slowed to a halt until her expression of displeasure eased to a faint, barely noticeable smile.

Hands held. Breathing heavily. Squeezing tightly. Body arching. Faint whimpers, soft kisses, return to serenity. Movement.

Cries of pleasure, pain and surprise filled the air as the heat rose like a sauna; bodies sticking together as they moved in perfect harmony. Time moved slowly as their world stood still, enjoying the moment as if it were their very last on this earth. Passion and excitement flood through their veins like venom. JanDi's small hand gripped at the sweaty hair, tugging gently as her hips rolled lightly to collide with the unexpected ecstasy.


End file.
